A Taxi Driver's Unrequested Advice - Achieving Basic Wisdom For 7 Euros

It happened on my 30th birthday. Of course this is a very sensitive day to many women. But personally I never understood the tendency of wanting to stay "forever 29". Let me tell you about the mother of my American ex-boyfriend whose email-address included the words "forver 29", though she was already in her 70ies.

So I was in a really cheerful mood and had a blast going out with my two best girlfriends. One of them was advanced in pregnancy, what made us consider leaving the downtown party-area at 1.30 am and to go on partying at my apartment.

We took a taxi at the main railway station. A gray-haired man in his 50ies, who seemed to be convinced that a red baseball cap and a mustache make a cool taxi-driver outfit, gave us a lift.

Immediately after we had entered the taxi he started talking to us: "Why do such young women go home so early?" I replied (a little moody): "Well, we feel like we had enough and most places were too crowded anyway". He turned his head towards me and said: "If I were a young beautiful woman, I would know where to go to find my prince!"

I was speechless for a second. Either I was looking so needy and waiting for a good man that he saw it from my looks....or he was the kind of man that would just conclude that any woman is constantly watching out for her "prince". Please excuse me not wanting to get deeper into that matter...

I heard the amused voice of my pregnant girlfriend coming from the backseat: "So, WHERE would that be?!". The taxi-driver answered promptly: "I would go to the "Freudenpark" bar. The old and wealthy guys hanging out there exactly know what they are searching for. They want a young and beautiful wife".

"Oh my, I am not searching for an old consultant that drives a Porsche car", I smashed back at him. "Ooooh girl, FIRST you need to have a solid roof over your head and THEN you can go find a lover!". While saying that he smiled at me like he shared a most precious and well-hidden secret with me.

We already drove down my street. "Please stop in front of the modern orange building on the left side", I briefed him. He looked up to the most snobby house in the whole quarter and seemed to be deeply irritated. I handed him the cash and tipped him one Euro for giving me that great insight in how a girl can make her living.

I absolutely need to make a note that I can always carry with me in my wallet:

1. Find an old and rich dude that will marry you and buy you a huge expensive house
2. Look for a young beau who makes a great lover
3. Live happily ever after

Note to the reader: I am not willing to deal with any complaints of disappointed followers of this three-step-plan. Please address directly to the taxi-driver at Nuremberg main railway station.

Masturbating for Romance

Today I chatted some on a single networking website. I said hi to a 32 years old teacher. He looked really like a good guy.....red very short hair (due to receding hairline), a well-groomed full beard and mischievous icey-blue eyes.

We chit-chatted for a while and finally came to talk about the single network itself. He asked about my "quote". I asked back: "I am not sure how you define "quote"?". What the hell does he mean? Messages? Dates? Encounters? Relationships? I saw his answer popping up in green letters: "I am single for FIVE weeks now, WHO can stand that, I feel like getting crazy". Ouch, five weeks, that`s really really HARD. Yeah, time to go out and find a new "significant other". I am sure there are millions of them out there, available at any time we need them.

I started to tell him about my last date, an optician age 40. He was really nice and handsome, but way too clearly only interested in sex. After the second date he IMed me, that he wouldn`t say no, if I asked him for sex and if I knew the fetish bar in the town near. At that point I decided, that romance is dead. If I could only leave some red roses on its grave, so that I at least can`t forget that it ever existed!!!

The five-week-single listened to my dating story and responded: "I hadn`t said no to such an offer". I typed back: "Well, you are a MAN. Women are more emotional at that point, at least most of us". He threw in: "Yeah, women start to be difficult and cause problems. But why shouldn`t I do something I enjoy, if I find someone who is willing to do it. Spontaneous sex at the first date would be great!". I was kind of speechless....what is that man looking for? Free sex? Can`t he just go to a prostitute or get a Real Doll? Is it necessary to bother desperate single women, looking for The One, with his sexual needs?

He left me thinking....what are dating men really looking for? Is the overall meaning of the whole dating game just about finding a new sex partner to them? Is the only possibility to make sure, I am not getting involved with one of this species, to not sleep with them for quite a while? Are they just being nice, making compliments and spreading romance, because they know it leads to the Garden of Eden, free and ultra-available sex?

Personally I think, we should be grateful for every single man who jacks it off once a day in front of his computer. I would suggest free Kleenex for every "autoerotic" man, maybe with the slogan "Masturbating for Romance" on them, and an insurance, that covers damages, caused by ejaculate, that missed the Kleenex and landed on the keyboard.